Good manners - teaching manners

Good manners

Good manners are the first mark of good breeding and reflect directly on a person’s upbringing. I have been given a very simple criterion for judging manners – good manners are based on consideration for other people. Tact, diplomacy and hospitality – all these are based on good manners.For instance, take table manners.
You are not supposed to put your elbows on the table while eating because it doesn’t allow enough space for the person who is sitting next to you. Similarly, it is important for you to respond to someone who wishes you ‘good morning’ or says ‘namaste’, even if it a stranger. If you do not return the greeting, the stranger will feel insulted and will not greet others easily again. For parents and teachers, there is one simple norm – do not tolerate bad manners. Give incentives and affection in return for good manners.

But do not expect too much too soon. Children will learn by and by, but it is no point expecting a three year old to know about butter knives and a finger bowl.There are some simple guidelines to follow actually, though there are cultural differences to take into consideration. What is rude in Japan may be perfectly acceptable in Latin America.

However, you will be forgiven for not knowing the rules of an alien culture. You will not be excused for being careless in your own country. In any case, always remember the principle of not making others uncomfortable. If you are in a mixed group, always greet the elders and the women first.Don’t shout to be heard.

Don’t interrupt others while they’re talking. Don’t address elders and seniors by their names, unless they have specially asked you to, in India at any rate.

Try ‘Sir/ Ma’am’ for strangers and ‘Uncle/ Aunty’ (or Chachaji, Mausiji etc) for familiar people. For a stranger who is not so old, it is better to suffix the name with ‘ji’, as a mark of respect.Stand up when an elder or a guest enters the room and don’t sit until you’ve offered them a seat.Offer a glass of water (and preferably a cup of tea) to anyone who steps into your home/ office.Do not continue to watch TV or surf the net when you have a visitor.

Stand when the national anthem (of any country) is playing. Show respect to all flags and all religious symbols.Lower the music or TV volume when others are talking or trying to sleep.Do not ask too many intimate or invasive questions the first few times that you meet a person.Do not comment on personal appearances or clothes in a negative way; if you cannot say something complimentary, do not say anything at all.

In Indian homes, always take off your shoes/sandals before entering a room, or in one corner near the door. At least, wait for your host to tell you that you need not bother.

Table mannersThere are some basic rules like – Wash your hands before and after a meal; Ask for whatever you want instead of reaching out directly or pointing at dishes; Don’t make too much noise; don’t talk with food in your mouth; Preferably eat with your right hand (unless you are a leftie and cannot); Wait until everyone else is sitting down before starting to eat; Help clear the dishes; Don’t read while eating; Don’t talk on your cell phone during the meal and if you must get up in-between, ask to be excused.

Parables and Insights - Sundar Singh

Part-II

The most wonderful experience the Sadhu has ever had of this peace was on that occasion when he was thrown into a well which was full of dead bodies. "The physical suffering was great, but in spirit I was happy. I began to pray to God, and His joy flowed into my heart to such an extent that I forgot the gruesome place I was in. A wonderful peace filled my heart, so lovely that I cannot describe it." "Never have I experienced greater blessedness in the peace of Jesus, received through prayer, than during those very days. Christ's peace turned that deep well into the Gate of Heaven." "How was it possible to have the peace of God in the pitch-dark night, in the midst of corpses and dead men's bones? Joy like this, peace like this, comes from nothing in this world, God alone can give it. While I was sitting therein the well I reflected that I never felt this kind of happiness while I lived in the house of my parents in comfort and luxury. Whence, then came this overflowing joy in that terrible den? I saw then more clearly than ever, that Jesus is alive, and that it was He who was filling my heart with peace and joy."
"I was talking once with a very learned man, a psychologist, who assured me that the wonderful peace which I experienced was simply the effect of my own imagination. Before I answered him I told him the story of a person who was blind from birth, and who did not believe in the existence of the sun. One cold winter day he sat outside in the sunshine, and then his friends asked him: 'How do you feel now? 'He replied: 'I feel very warm.' 'It is the sun which is making you warm, although you cannot see it, you feel its effect".' 'No!' he said, 'this is impossible; this warmth comes from my own body; it is due to the circulation of the blood. You will never make me believe that a ball of fire is suspended in the midst of the heavens without any pillar to support it.' Well, I said to the psychologist, 'What do you think of the blind man? 'He was a fool!' he answered. 'And you,' I said to him, 'are a learned fool! You say that my peace is the effect of my own imagination, but I have experienced it.'
"The Cross is like the fruit of the walnut-tree. The outer rind is bitter, but the kernel is refreshing and strengthening. From the outside the Cross has neither beauty nor goodness; its essence is only revealed to those who bear it. They find a kernel of spiritual sweetness and inward peace."
"During an earthquake it sometimes happens that fresh springs break out in dry places which water and quicken the land so that plants can grow. In the same way the shattering experiences of suffering can cause the living water to well up in a human heart."
"A newborn child has to cry, for only in this way will his lungs expand. A doctor once told me of a child who could not breathe when it was born. In order to make it breathe the doctor gave it a slight blow. The mother must have thought the doctor cruel. But he was really doing the kindest thing possible. As with newborn children the lungs are contracted, so are our spiritual lungs. But through suffering God strikes us in love. Then our lungs expand and we can breathe and pray."
"Once there was a man who noticed a silkworm in its cocoon; he saw how it was twisting and struggling; it was in great distress. The man went to it and helped it to get free. The silkworm made a few more efforts, but after a while it died. The man had not helped it; he had only disturbed its growth. Another man saw a silkworm suffering in the same way, but he did not do anything to help it. He knew that this conflict and struggle was a good thing that the silkworm would grow stronger in the process, and so be better prepared for its new stage of life. In the same way suffering and distress in this world help us to get ready for the next life."
"Many people despise those who give their health, their strength, their means, for others, and call them fools; and yet they are those who are able to save many." "Not until we lavish our strength do men begin to see that we are not selfish, but that we are really redeemed. Our Savior says that we are the salt of the earth. Salt does not impart its flavour to other things until it is dissolved. Suppose we put some salt into a saucepan with boiling rice, because it dissolves it gives flavour to thousands of grains of rice. In the same manner we can only redeem others by giving ourselves up for them."
This giving out becomes a blessing to others. That is my own experience. When I went up to Tibet, if I did not give out some blessing or power which I felt I possessed, I lost my peace; and when I gave away any gift of strength, then peace came back." "The pipe which carries water from place to place is always clean, because it is always being cleansed by fresh pure flowing water. It is just the same with those who are used by the Holy Spirit to serve as channels of the living water to others. They keep themselves pure and holy and become heirs of God's Kingdom."
As the inner life with God grows through the loving Service of others, so it contracts if it shuts itself up to self centered reflection, caring nothing for the world outside. A mysticism which confines itself to "pure contemplation" spells the death of true fellowship with God. By a series of vivid parables and stories the Sadhu illuminates this side of his experience.
"Fish which always live in the depths of the ocean lose some of their faculties, like the Tibetan hermits who always live in the dark. The ostrich loses his power of flying because he does not use his wings. Therefore do not bury the gifts and talents which have been given to you, but use them, that you may enter into the joy of your Lord."
"While I was in Tibet I saw a Buddhist, a monk, who had lived for five or six years in a cave. When he went into the cave he had good eyesight. But because he stayed so long in the darkness his eyes grew weaker and weaker, and at last he became quite blind. It is just the same with us. If we do not use the blessings which we have received from God for His Glory, we are in danger of losing them for ever."
"When I was in Palestine I stood by the Jordan and said to myself," This fresh water is always flowing into the Dead Sea, and yet the Sea remains dead, because it has no outlet. Even so there are individual Christians and Christian communities and churches which are dead because the living waters of the Gospel are always flowing into them, but they are not flowing out again to make the land fruitful. They receive gifts of knowledge and experience, but they do not share them with others. The gifts of the Word and of the Spirit come to them, but they do not give them out again to those who have them not."
'If we have really received God's redeeming message, it becomes a power within us which impels us to speak of the Lord. Those who have experienced this cannot sit still and keep silence about that which God has done for them; no, they must speak." "We have no right to be silent; even when confession of Christ leads to persecution and suffering we must bear witness."
"It is a joy to me to be allowed to bear witness." "I want to bear witness of my Savior, because I have received so much from Him." "What a privilege it is to be His witness, a witness of the Living Christ! That is a privilege not even given to the angels, because they cannot testify to His power as Redeemer. They have no experience of salvation because they have never sinned. Only those who have been saved by His grace can bear witness." "Oh what love God has shown toward us, in refusing this honor to the angels, and in granting it to men.''
"It is not necessary for everyone to be a preacher." "It is quite possible to be a great preacher without being a witness for Christ. It is also possible to be a living witness, indeed a great witness, for Christ without being a preacher or a speaker." "Every Christian, whether man or woman, boy or girl, rich or poor, workman or peasant, writer or priest, judge or official, doctor or lawyer, teacher or pupil, Government official or missionary, is only a Christian on condition that he witnesses for his Lord. In order to bear witness to Him it does not necessarily follow that we must preach in the bazaar or from the pulpit, or that we must conduct Bible classes, Sunday Schools, and Christian Unions, no, these are only some of the ways by which we can witness; but all Christians, wherever they are, have the opportunity of witnessing for their Master. They can do this by their upright life, their blameless character, by the integrity of their behavior and their sincerity in speech, by their enthusiasm for their religion and their love for their Master, using every possible opportunity of telling others about Jesus Christ."
"Every one of them can be a witness for Christ, not only with his lips but by his whole life." "Every Christian ought to be a living martyr, who lives for the sake of his Master."
"The fishes of the sea live in salt water, yet when we eat boiled fish there is no salt taste in the water in which they have been boiled. They have lived in an atmosphere impregnated with salt, yet they have kept free from its flavor. So do true Christians live in the world, without taking it into their hearts". "The man of prayer remains free from the taint of sin although he lives in a sin-stained world, because his inner life is preserved by prayer."
"The world is like an ocean. We cannot live without water, it is true, but it is also true that we cannot live if we allow the wafer to engulf us, for there is life in water and also death. If we make use of water we find that there is life in it, but if we are drowned we find death." "In this world we are like little boats." "A boat is only useful on the water; for there it conveys men from one shore to another. But if we drag it overland, through fields, or into a town, we find that as a vehicle it is utterly useless. The place for a boat is on a river or on the sea. But this does not mean that the water must be in the boat. For if it is in the boat, the boat will become useless; no one would then be able to steer it over the water. It would fill with water, sink beneath the waves, and whoever was in it would be drowned. The boat must be in the water, but the water must not be in the boat."

Change - Part II

By Robert H. Schuller

"Cast away from you all transgressions which you have committed and get yourself a new heart and a new spirit." -Ezekiel 18:31

Imagine your mind as a harbor. There is a channel leading in, and there is a harbor master keeping close watch on every-thing that comes and goes. Can you draw a picture of what the "harbor of your mind" holds today? The regrets? The grief? The self-condemnation? The fears? What wreckage of the past threatens to block the channel? When do you draw the chains across the opening? Symbolize these things in a picture, or simply list them in the space below.
* * *
Lord, I need you as my harbor master, You are now in control!
* * *

How to buy a used CAR?

Used Car Buyers Guide

Making the right choice while buying a used car is very important. In the open market you will be exposed to variety of cars with large variation in quality, condition, price, etc. As a large amount of your hard earned money is being spent for purchasing this car, you must thoroughly scrutinize it for condition, reliability, documents, etc. Many unsuspecting buyers therefore end up buying a wrong car. This usedcar buyer guide can help you avoid buying a wrong car.
· Exterior
· Interior
· Road Test
· Under the Bonnet
· Documents
Exterior:Exterior / Bodywork: The exterior / body is designed for safety, aesthetics & appeal of the car. Careful inspection of the exterior reveals the bodyline, alignment, and structural damage & if the car has been through an accident. In a monocoque body the crumple zones that are designed to protect the passengers, gets affected.
· It is important to view the car in daylight. In rainy season ensure that the car is dry with out any rain droplets.
· Check the car for rust perforations. (Like: Bottom of the front windshield, sliding door railing, under body, exhaust system, etc).
· Check for sealant application in doors, fender aprons, etc to check for accidents.
· Check the paint condition, like: gloss, bubbles, overflow, and color mis-match. Any anomaly indicates that the car may have met with an accident. In this condition take out the weather strips & check for original weld spots.
· Look for signs of oil, coolant & petrol leakage, leakage of suspension.
· Check for cracks, chip off, and deep scratches in the front windshield. This is a safety item, so never take chances.
· Check all headlights & taillights are functioning & are not broken.
· All tyres should be of same make including the spare tyre. Check for re-treaded, re-grooving, wear pattern should be uniform.
Interior:
The interiors of the cars show how well the previous owner has maintained the car. It is important not only to see the cleanliness but also the functioning of various items. Clean interiors some times may disguise the non-functioning parts.
· Check all the safety belts are functioning.
· Check all the elements in instrument panel (Battery indicator, Fuel Gauge, Temperature, speedometer, tachometer, trip meter, Odometer, Handbrake light, etc) are functioning.
· Check for cabin light functioning.
· Check for A/C louvers loose, hard, blower speed control, blower direction knob, and hot & cold knob.
· Seat reclining & sliding.
· Lift the carpet & see for floor damage or rust.
· Check for door trims, damage / cut of seats.
· Check all door locks, child locks for proper functioning.
· Fully open & close the window glasses & check for smooth operation, noise. Check for all switches of power windows functioning properly.
· Check the availability of Jack, Jack handle and tool kit.
· Damage of heat resistant material in the dickey area indicates rework in the rear floor area.
Road Test:
Always take a road test before buying the car. Take road test for at least 10 minutes. If you are not an expert driver take some one along who is adept at driving. The road test reveals the overall condition of the car, the mechanical parts, steering, clutch, brakes, air conditioning, steering.
· The ignition key is coming out from the position when the engine is running.
· Radiator fan should not start immediately after the ignition is put on. The fan should start with a gap of after some time it should stop.
· Check for blue, black smoke from the exhaust. Blue smoke indicates heavy wear & tare to the engine.
· Check for clutch slippage. Even at high revolutions of the engine the car doesn’t speed up and engine revolution sound increases.
· Proper functioning of brakes.
· On a level road check for alignment. The car should not pull to either direction.
· Turn the vehicle completely in both the directions and check for abnormal sound from the drive shaft.
· Check the wiper for proper functioning at all the speeds & washer is also working. The wiper should come back to its original position when it is in switched off.
· Feel any abnormal noise in the steering.
· Listen for any excessive noise from the body, rattling noise from the doors.
Under the Bonnet:
Please note don’t wear any loose clothes, tie, pallu, etc while checking the under the bonnet. Do not open the radiator cap when the engine is hot.
· The ID plate must be there and it should match with the chassis number punched on the body.
· Listen for any abnormal noise from the engine.
· Discolored coolant (faded), level of engine oil, brake oil, thickness of engine oil, A/C gas bubbling, floating sludge in the coolant & radiator.
· Leakage & damage of the ignition coil, hoses, chords, etc.
· Visually check for the damage of fins of radiator & condenser.
Documents:
· Ask for the original RC & invoice.
· Verify the no of previous owners & status of hypothecation from the RTO.
· Always take the payment receipt from the sellers.
· Take commitments that R.C will be transferred in your name.
· If there is “no-claim-bonus” is not there in the insurance, check for the claim details.
· If the vehicle is registered in another state ask for the no objection certificate from the previous RTO. In that case you have to pay fresh road tax at the time of transferring in your name.
· The engine number, chassis number & the color, etc mentioning in the RC should match with the vehicle.
· If CNG or LPG is fitted it should be endorsed in the RC.

Change Part-I

Change - Part

By Robert Schuller

"Great is your faith! Let it be done for you as you desire." -Matthew 15:28
Istanbul, once called Constantinople, is a beautiful city. Over the centuries, it has always been one of the great cities of the world. When you enter the harbor by ship, as I did some years ago, it is an inspiring sight to see. You enter the Golden Horn and sail up the Sea of Marmara. From there you can catch the view of the sun reflected off the gold domes of the mosques that were originally built as great cathedrals. Many of them were built over 700 years ago and still stand today as glorious monuments to the people of faith. There was a time in the ancient days when insecure rulers of Constantinople wanted to make sure that they could keep the enemy out. They performed a remarkable feat. They created the largest and heaviest chain ever built by human beings. The links are about a foot and a half long and about two inches thick. This monstrous chain was built by hand and then draped across the harbor to keep foreign ships out of their territory. People still marvel at how they were able to maneuver something so bulky and heavy. As I listened to the story of that chain, I thought of the people who are drawing chains across the harbor of their minds, chains that keep out new thoughts and ideas. Chains keep us from being open to change. What chains are holding you back today from God's great plans for you?
* * *

SKIN CARE IN WINTER

Winter Skin Care

The low humidity common in many parts of the world during winter can cause dry, irritated skin. When skin becomes dry and irritated, eczema can flare. Here are some tips to help skin feel more comfortable during winter or anytime the air is dry:
1. Use a humidifier. With the heat on and the windows closed, the air inside can become very dry in the winter, making the dryness and itching of eczema even worse. Use a humidifier to place moisture in the air. If you don’t want to invest in an expensive humidifying system, smaller, relatively inexpensive humidifiers can be obtained at a local drug store. Placing two or three of these around your home will help to humidify the dry air. This can keep skin from drying and becoming cracked and itchy.
2. Switch to an oil-based moisturizer and moisturize frequently. The more oil a moisturizer contains the more effectively it protects against moisture loss. Moisturizers that come in ointment form contain the most oil because an ointment, by definition, consists of 80% oil and 20% water. This water-in-oil emulsion forms a protective layer on the skin and makes it more “moisturizing” than creams and lotions. Ointments are especially beneficial when humidity is low. Ointments should not be used on areas of the body that tend to get hot and sweaty.
3. Before Going Outside in Winter:
· Apply a heavy layer of moisturizing broad-spectrum sunscreen with an SPF of 15 or higher to the face, hands, and any other skin that may be exposed. This will act as a barrier to help protect against the harsh elements and is especially important if you will be outside for any length of time. Sunscreen is important in winter as the sun’s reflective powers are great year round - 17% on the sand and 80% on the snow. Today, several products are available that combine oily, moisturizing cream with sunscreen. If you are unsure of which product to use, ask a dermatologist.
· Grab those gloves. Protecting hands from the cold air and low humidity plays an important role in preventing flare-ups. Make sure the gloves are made from material that does not irritate your skin. Some patients find that wearing a cotton mitten next to the skin and a woolen mitten over the cotton one, keeps hands warm and dry.
4. Dress in layers. The most common triggers of the scratch/itch cycle are sweating and overheating. Wearing layers allows you to remove clothing as needed to prevent overheating. Be sure to wear loose-fitting cotton fabrics next to your skin.
5. Shed wet clothes and shoes immediately. These can irritate the skin and cause a flare-up.
Be aware of dryness in the environment and you'll be halfway to solving winter skin problems. Your skin is in tune with its environment.
• Indoors – The average humidity of a centrally heated home or office is as low as 10%. Dry indoor air robs moisture from your skin, causing fine lines and irritation.
• Outdoors – Fierce winds and zero temperatures can cause the barrier function of the skin to break down and lose some of its shielding capabilities. The surface layers shrink, become rigid, and crack. How much moisture evaporates from the skin's surface is partly determined by the condition and health of the skin, and how well you protect it.
Although you cannot control your outdoor environment, you can create an indoor atmosphere that is supportive and nurturing to skin and will help reverse the effects of the outside elements.
To protect the skin, keep baths and showers short and the water temperature warm – not hot.
After the bath, seal in precious body moisture. Pat yourself dry (don't rub), and while skin is still warm and slightly damp, apply body oil.
Follow immediately with a good body moisturizer.
Here are some suggestions for protecting your skin and hair:
1. The skin on your hands is thinner than in other areas of your body, and it needs extra protection and care. Make sure that after washing your hands you dry thoroughly and use a good hand cream. Wearing gloves outdoors will also protect them and keep your skin soft.
2. Elbows, knees, and feet are completely covered in the winter months, and usually forgotten until spring. Clothing and boots can cause friction that creates a buildup of thick skin. A good scrubbing with a natural lofah sponge, followed by a rich cream will remove any problems here.
3. Sun protection is very important in the winter months, just as it is year-round. Many people forget to use sunscreen, but sun reflects off snow and ice, and you can actually get double the sun exposure.
4. Protect your lips with a good lip balm, and avoid licking your lips as much as possible, since that will cause your lips to crack and chap. If you get a bad case of chapped or cracked lips, use some Vaseline Intensive care before bed, and you should be good to go in the morning.
5. Winter winds and low humidity are also hard on your hair, and using a rich, deep hair conditioner is important to restore moisture to your hair.
6. One way to keep your skin in great shape is getting a massage. You don't have to go to a specialist for this: just get out your favorite massage oil and ask a family member to give you a quick massage. Then relax and enjoy the experience and the benefits.
Here are some of the best natural beauty ingredients available for winter skin and hair care:
Baking Soda - can be used as a deodorant, bath powder, or tooth whitener. Mixed with water, it helps remove residues from hairstyling products, making your hair clean and shiny.
Beans - Finely ground until powder-like, beans make a great cleanser for your face and body: just add the powdered beans to your favorite cleanser and massage into damp skin. Dry beans are rich in protein, potassium and iron, all good ingredients for healthy skin.
Citrus Fruit - contains citric acid, which kills bacteria on the skin. Also, the fresh scent is a known energizer. Rinse your hair with lemon juice mixed with water when you hair is dull and tired.
Maple Syrup - can be used as a facial mask, or hair conditioner, and it's one of the best natural moisturizers. For best results, make sure you look for syrup marked 100% pure.
Tea Tree Oil - this oil has very powerful antibacterial and antiviral qualities, and it's easily absorbed by the skin.
Start the day with a hot shower... but before you get out switch to cold water for about fifteen seconds. Then turn up the heat a little, and down again to repeat the process for about two minutes. “Why would I want to do that?!” I hear you cry! This is a simple hydrotherapy technique which revitalizes the skin by stimulating the flow of blood through the body. It is both invigorating and highly beneficial to the skin. So even though you may not really enjoy the process, just think of the all the good it’s doing you!
Use a good moisturizer. Choose a highly protective day cream which contains zinc oxide, and provides SPF30 protection to form a barrier against the elements. Creamier, water-in-oil emulsions are best. And don’t forget about your lips. Chapped lips are often the most noticeable problem for a lady in the winter. Use a highly moisturizing lip balm which provides a protective barrier, with vitamin E for good elasticity.
Exfoliate at least twice a week. This will remove dead cells and allow the skin to absorb extra moisture. The oil which we all complain about in the Summer is no longer being produced because of cooler winter temperatures and central heating. Therefore the skin looses the water which should be retained in the lower dermis of the skin. This can lead to premature aging of the skin and fine lines, whilst your skin can appear puffy and grey. Nice!
Drink a glass of hot water with lemon. This Chinese herbal remedy is a sure-fire method of energizing your body. It will de-tox your entire system, including the liver and gall bladder. This means that your body will be able to clean the blood faster to get rid of toxins responsible for bad skin.
Simply sleep! Money can’t buy the benefits of a good nights’ rest. Your oxygen levels will drop if you don’t get enough sleep, meaning that your cells will not be renewed as quickly. This is when degenerative skin aging sets in. Try to get seven, if not eight or nine hours of rest a night to achieve absolutely painless benefits. It’s ideal!
Enjoy your beautiful skin and hair this coming winter!

Great sayings

ANYWAY

PEOPLE ARE UNREASONABLE, ILLOGICAL AND SELF CENTERED. LOVE THEM ANYWAY.
IF YOU DO GOOD, PEOPLE WILL ACCUSE YOU OF SELFISH ULTERIOR MOTIVES. DO GOOD ANYWAY.
IF YOU ARE SUCCESSFUL, YOU WIN FALSE FRIENDS AND TRUE ENEMIES. SUCCEED ANYWAY.
HONESTY AND FRANKNESS MAKE YOU VULNERABLE. BE FRANK AND HONEST ANYWAY.
PEOPLE FAVOUR UNDERDOGS, BUT FOLLOW ONLY TOP DOGS. FIGHT FOR UNDER DOGS ANYWAY.
PEOPLE REALLY NEED HELP BUT MAY ATTACH YOU HELP THEM. HELP PEOPLE ANYWAY.
GIVE THE WORLD THE BEST YOU HAVE AND YOU WILL GET KICKED IN THE TEATH. BUT, GIVE THE
WORLD THE BEST ANYWAY.